Sunday Funday??

It's Sunday friends. Tomorrow starts a new semester of school. Luckily all my classes this term are online only, which means I don't have to worry about driving back and forth to Spartanburg for a while. That's a relief!

I'm still having some issues with insomnia but it's gotten a tad bit better. My friends pulled me into playing an online game with them and it helps to make me sleepy so I don't have quite as much trouble falling asleep. With most things like this though, being naturally an introverted person, I need to watch myself to make sure that I don't get sucked in too much so that real life falls by the wayside.

Mom was here for about two weeks through Xmas and New Years. That's always great when she's here because I don't feel so alone. So far since she's been gone I've been alright; I keep trying to become used to being alone all the time and I'm hoping that little by little I'll become more used to it.

Still having issues with anxiety as well. This is really one of the main things that's been bugging me. I think most of it stems from financial issues. I have been living off of loans and school money but they are really adding up and even with those my finances are limited. I really don't know what to do at this point. The social worker in the hospital applied for disability for myself because she said with all of the illnesses I have together it may get approved. I don't really know how to feel about this honestly. I don't want to be disabled. I don't want to just feel like I'm mooching off the government and people's taxes. I don't want to feel like I can't do something. But at the same time when she asked me the questions she did, it makes me wonder.  I can't work a full day on my feet due to my neuropathy being so bothersome. But I've always had pain, for as long as I can remember.... so I'm really used to just living with pain everyday. There are a lot of physical limitations due to my weight that cuts down on a lot of jobs I could do. My COPD won't allow me to work anywhere with chemicals, lots of animals, strong smells, lots of heat or mold. I can't do too much at once that will make me breathe heavy or my lungs will start being angry. I know that these things limit my choices of what I could do. I also know that because of this it would be very hard to get hired. Hell, even without telling people about my limitations they don't want to hire an old, fat woman. LOL.

I'm thinking that whatever happens, I am going to really make a serious attempt to lose weight again. I know that it won't take these conditions away but it will definitely make me feel better and should make those conditions a little more bearable. Maybe it would give me more energy, because I really haven't had any pickup in energy since the surgery, which is very disappointing.  I know I've tried a million times, and I'll try a million more until something finally works for me. If it was easy then everyone would be skinny minnies!

As soon as my lungs get semi-healthy again (please please please happen soon!) I have some craft projects I want to get started on. With them being angry right now though, the chemicals and smell from wood-burning would really kill me, even with wearing a mask. So I'm going to have to wait a little while longer.

So that's about all that's going on right now from my end. Just trying to stay inside, rest and keep my lungs somewhat happy and healing. I really don't want to have to go back to the doctors again for them as all they are going to do is tell me to use my albuterol and advair, which I'm already doing now. Wish there was something that would help clear it up quicker than those, because apparently they're not doing too much. bleah. Well here's to a great week!